


Blue Eyes

by bobombmobob



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Sweater Weather - Lumosinlove
Genre: Fluff, Inspired by Sweater Weather | Coast to Coast - lumosinlove, M/M, Pining, Sharing a Bed, lumosinlove
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:20:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28268277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bobombmobob/pseuds/bobombmobob
Summary: The team were on their way to the hotel, having just landed after a long flight. They didn’t anticipate their bus was going to break down, and with a snowstorm forecast, the team were unsure whether they would be able to make it to their hotel. Lucky for Remus, he had Sirius to keep him company.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 5
Kudos: 61





	Blue Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> My secret santa gift to subito-fulget. Thank you so much Hannah, Cap of the discord chat and amazing human for putting this on!
> 
> And of course, thank you to lumosinlove for the beautiful Coops.

_Perfect, absolutely perfect._ Remus thought as the team all stood on the side of a dark road, the bus having just broken down. They were making good time, on their way to the fourth game of the season, but they just _had_ to choose the hotel furthest away from the airport. Fortunately, they were all dressed for warmth but that didn’t stop a cold chill running down Remus’ spine as he shuffled on the spot, arms wrapped around himself. They were waiting on a replacement bus, van, anything to get them anywhere, but given the forecasted snowstorm, they weren’t having much luck. 

Logan stood next to Dumo, their heads knocked together as they talked quietly, while Finn was in a similar state to Remus, looking around as he rubbed his arms, sucking in a breath. “We should all huddle for warmth,” Finn suggested, and Leo was the first to nod quickly, shuffling over and leaning into Finn. 

Others joined the group, while Remus glanced over at Sirius who stood alone, looking down. Remus would have given anything to know what he was thinking right then, eyes casted downward, black curls sticking out of the cap he was wearing (that really should’ve been a beanie), wet from where the snow had formed to water. He watched as a puff of air blew out of his mouth, visible from how cold it was; Remus found himself struck with an unexplainable desire to be in that breath’s path. Being close enough to feel the warmth radiating from him, enveloping and dizzying him. Maybe he would crack a joke and Sirius would laugh, eyes bright and grin wide. Maybe then he’d shake his head fondly and lean in close enough for their lips to touch-

“Earth to Loops,” Coach called, bringing him out of his thoughts. He hummed in acknowledgement as Coach waved his phone, “rescue bus will be here any minute.”

Remus nodded, then tried rubbing his hands together in hopes of warming them up, but it was to no avail. He was bloody freezing. He walked over and playfully shouldered Sirius, who seemed lost in his head. “You alright?”

It was when Sirius turned to face him that Remus realised how close they were standing, their faces even closer. Sirius looked into his eyes and Remus was captivated, unable to look anywhere else. He asked again, slower this time, “you okay, Cap?”

“Hm? Oh- yeah…” Sirius said quietly, turning to look back down at the ground. It felt like that one word didn’t even scratch the surface of the vastness of Sirius’ thoughts, but Remus didn’t dare press further. If only. 

Remus nodded and looked ahead, forlornly at the poor broken down bus, most likely going to be many feet under snow by the morning. Being stood next to Sirius, starting the world’s most awkward and stilted conversation in the history of conversations, Remus was very much envious of the bus. Many feet under snow seemed like a better alternative to the silence that stretched between the two, thicker than the fluffy whiteness beneath them. 

“And you?” Remus blinked, turning again to catch Sirius’ blue eyes once more. “How are you?” Sirius asked. 

“Blue.”

Oh god.

“Blue?” Sirius pressed his lips together, trying not to laugh. Remus was thankful for the excuse of the cold weather for his rosy cheeks, though something told him Sirius was already aware of the things he did to him. 

“Um- yeah. No- I just meant-uh-” Remus stumbled over his words, frustrated that Sirius always flustered him. If he wasn’t rendered speechless by his lack of a filter, then he certainly was after the corners of Sirius’ mouth turned up into a smile, eyes crinkling slightly. Remus felt compelled to poke the little dimples in his cheeks but chose instead to keep his hands in his pockets. 

“You just meant…” Sirius prompted, smile growing wider. Remus couldn’t find any words, entranced by the sweet expression on the man’s face. Sirius huffed a laugh, and after a moment of silence, said very gently, “you know, I quite like your eyes too.”

Oh. Oh my. Remus had no idea what to say to that, taken aback completely. He opened his mouth to say something, anything, but was interrupted by the loud beep beep of a bus as it pulled into the road beside them, everyone cheering. 

“I-um. I guess I’ll see you later then?” Sirius asked as they walked over to the bus. He didn’t break eye contact with Remus, who in turn was struggling to maintain Sirius’ unwavering gaze. 

Remus nodded, “yeah I’ll see you ar- _ah!_ ” He slipped, legs swinging out in front of him. He screwed his eyes shut, bracing for impact, but it never came. No, instead, he fell into the very strong arms of one Sirius Black, who looked down at him seemingly very amused about the whole situation.

Remus looked up at him, eyes wide. He racked his brain, begged it to come up with some kind of response to the most embarrassing predicament he could find himself in. But naturally, all he could think of to say was, 

“Oh.”

 _Great. So smart. Just a brilliant response._

Remus would have been more embarrassed about his reply, or lack thereof, had it not been for the way Sirius’ face lit up, hand instinctively gripping a little tighter on his arm. 

“Have a nice trip?” he quipped, and Remus rolled his eyes as he was brought back up on his feet. 

“Thanks,” he said, and Sirius just nodded, still smiling. He made his way to the open door of the bus, where everyone else was already piled in. There were two rows of seats, facing each other. Everyone had taken up the rest of the seats, bar for two. 

“After you.” Remus offered, and Sirius grinned, nodding his thanks. Though, he paused when he climbed in, turning back to face Remus. He held out his hand for Remus to take, then pulled him up into the bus.

Remus, still thrown off balance from the trip just moments ago, tumbled into the seat beside Sirius, one leg on top of his lap. He yelped and removed his leg, eyes determinedly looking down when Dumo raised an eyebrow at the pair of them. 

“I’d settle in, it’s gonna be a long ride.” The driver called from the front seat, much to the chagrin of Remus. He wasn’t sure how he was going to survive this journey. 

Pretty much everyone else on the bus seemed to be varying degrees of tired. The one commonality lay that they were all on the verge of, if not already, falling asleep. 

Remus bounced his legs up and down, trying his best to keep warm, but next to him, Sirius sighed and put a hand on Remus’ knee, with a quiet mumble of, “stop that.”

“Shit sorry.” Remus apologised, but when Sirius turned to look at him, he didn’t seem annoyed. In fact he seemed more solemn. Contemplative. He felt exposed, under Sirius’ gaze, like he just ripped Remus’ chest apart and pulled out his beating heart. _It’s his, anyway._

Neither of them looked away from each other, in fear of losing whatever moment this was. Pulling them. Reeling in, drawn closer and closer and closer- a bump in the road broke whatever silent conversation they were having, leaving both parties to look away. 

Sirius let his head fall back against the wall behind them, closing his eyes. Remus wished he could relax right now but it was proving to be very difficult given Sirius’ hand was still resting on his knee. The ever-so-casual touch bleeding into his skin. He wanted to be surrounded by that feeling, be surrounded by Sirius. Not suffocating or claustrophobic, just _there_. Present. It felt like so much of Remus’ life was spent clinging so desperately onto things he knew he needed to let go of.

He didn’t want to let go of this.

Something told Remus he wouldn’t have to. 

If only he could express how he felt. All of the words were on the tip of his tongue, on his lips, and in his head, stood at the edge of a cliff waiting for Sirius to join him. The wind was cold and biting on his skin, looking down at the never-ending blue beneath this cliff. Crashing waves and dark rocks. Just jump. Do it. It’s scary but he wouldn’t want to do it with anyone else. And that thought is scary in and of itself.

Just jump. 

Into the blue.

Sirius was asleep now. Remus was convinced he was the only one awake on the bus. He was about to pull out his phone when he felt a warmth on his shoulder, something tickling at his neck. He frowned and craned his head, gasping a little when he saw a head of black hair resting on his shoulder. 

He didn’t move a muscle, didn’t want this moment to end. But he was conscious that Sirius’ neck was going to kill after this. And technically, it was his responsibility as the team’s PT to eliminate any unnecessary pain or cramps. He turned very carefully, slowly, sliding a hand underneath Sirius’ head, cradling it almost. He really should have thought this through, though, because he now had no clue what he was supposed to do, Sirius’ head resting in his hands. 

He did what any sane person would do in his situation, and lowered his head all the way into his lap, Sirius, half-asleep, bringing his legs up underneath him and shifting around, turning his body to curl up slightly, cheek now resting on Remus’ thigh.

 _This certainly was going to be a long ride._

Remus thought he might as well try and get some sleep. 

*****

“We’re here, boys.” Remus heard, and blinked his eyes open, looking around at everyone in a similar state to him, groggily rubbing their faces and standing up. He looked down at Sirius who was still asleep on his lap. Unsure how to go about waking him up, Remus’ hands hovered over his face.

He gently brushed the hair away to reveal Sirius’ face, so calm and peaceful asleep. He felt bad interrupting it, but everyone else was off the bus now. 

“Sirius.”

“Sirius.”

He sighed, and placed a hand on his shoulder, shaking slightly. “Sirius,” he said louder, and was greeted with only a hum.

He shook him more, and Sirius jumped up suddenly, hair flat on one side, cap half fallen off his head. His eyes met Remus’.

“You fell-”

“Sorry I-”

They both laughed, and Sirius gestured for him to continue, “I-uh. You fell asleep. I didn’t want you to get a cramp in your neck.”

“Oh!” Sirius stood up, holding his hand out for Remus to take again, “thanks.”

“No problem.” Remus nodded, and they both made their way to the entrance of the little motel. He felt envious of Sirius, being able to brush off something like falling asleep on someone like he did. _Maybe it just didn’t mean that much to him._

Remus took notice of the small building, and it was evident they weren’t going to make their way to their originally booked hotel. He just hoped this would do. 

Coach was talking to the receptionist, while Remus walked to stand beside Dumo, who shot him a knowing look. “What?” he asked.

“Nothing,” he hummed, but his expression still didn’t let up. 

“ _What?_ ” Remus asked again, bordering on a whine.

“You and the Captain are getting very close, non?”

Remus blushed, “what’s that supposed to mean?”

“You tell me.”

He was about to reply, when he was interrupted by a hand on his arm. He turned and saw Sirius, smiling sheepishly.

“Hi-”

“Hey.”

“So um, there’s not many rooms left… everyone’s doubling up or in some cases tripling up. I said I’d bunk with you if that’s cool?”

Remus’ mouth went dry. Why did he pick him? Of all the people? He could only nod, and Sirius smiled brightly back at him, “great! We’re in room 54.”

“O-okay.” 

Dumo snorted beside him, and Remus whacked his arm. “I’m gonna head up to the room now…” Sirius said, and Remus nodded again.

“Sure I’ll join you,” he gave Dumo a warning look as he grabbed his bags, walking down the hall with Sirius.

“There’s only one key.” Sirius explained, “I- you can have it if you want.”

“Oh that’s fine you can keep hold of it.”

Sirius huffed a laugh, looking down. Remus wanted to hear that laugh on a loop. It felt like recently Sirius had been so tense and stressed. It was refreshing seeing him so happy. “No I- I don’t trust myself.”

The statement hung between the two of them. As if he were standing in the middle of a tightrope, unable to decide whether he should turn around and head back or carry on walking forward, balancing. It felt like Sirius just said everything and nothing at all. The simultaneous weight of insinuation and emptiness of such a throwaway comment leaving Remus unsure of where he stood with Sirius. Surely friends didn’t speak like this?

“Well I’ll take it,” he said gently, taking the key from Sirius, the electricity of their hands brushing jolting through his arm, warming him in the otherwise freezing motel.

He unlocked the door and they both walked through, stopping at the same time in front of the one bed that took up the entirety of the room.

“What kind of shitty fanfiction is this?” Sirius mumbled, sighing as he dropped his bags on the bed.

“And what would you know about fanfiction?” Remus asked, quirking an eyebrow as Sirius grinned,

“Wouldn’t you love to know.”

Remus had no idea how to respond to that. So, he instead chose to join Sirius in dropping his bags. 

“I can sleep on the floor.” Sirius offered, and Remus could only laugh as he looked around at the room, the only bit of floor being what they were standing on, just enough for the door to swing open. 

“What floor?”

Sirius laughed too, “good point.”

Their laughter died down, and they were once again left in just each other’s company. Both avoiding the elephant, or rather, bed, in the room. “So…”

“So…” Sirius trailed off, “I can run back down and see if there’s any other rooms,” he suggested.

“Didn’t you say all the rooms were gone?”

“Yeah…” 

Silence. Again.

“It’s not so bad. The bed could be smaller.” Remus reasoned, shrugging. “I-I’m fine with it if you are. As long as you don’t snore,” he attempted to make light of the situation.

“I don’t snore!”

“Guess we’ll see then.” Remus grinned, opening the zip on his bag. 

*****

Sirius didn’t snore. But he also didn’t seem to fall asleep very quickly. Remus kept his eyes trained on the ceiling; hoping, praying that maybe Sirius would say something, anything. Sirius most likely was not thinking the same things. He kept huffing and sighing, shifting around from one side to another on the small bed. 

“Can’t sleep?” Remus broke the silence, turning to face Sirius. He looked adorable, the light from the window (with no curtains) catching his eyes, though Remus thought Sirius didn’t need light for his eyes to sparkle. He was always the one to bring the light into every situation. Bring the light into his life. Light that he didn’t know he needed, but now he got a glimpse, never wanted to go without. 

“I think the nap on the bus probably wasn’t the best idea.” Sirius smiled a little, facing Remus now. His cheek was squished up against the pillow, black curls covering his forehead. Remus felt compelled to reach forward and brush them away, so he could get lost in the _blue_ of his eyes once more, but instead kept his hands by his sides. 

“Probably not.” Remus said quietly, now conscious of his breathing as their faces were yet again in very close proximity. He focused all of his thoughts onto keeping his blush at bay, but there was no use. 

“You want to know what I do to get myself to sleep?” Sirius asked, and at the other’s nod continued, “well, I— _hey_ ,” he said gently when Remus looked down. 

Suddenly, his head was being tilted back up, a hand on his cheek. At Remus’ questioning look, Sirius very simply said, “I can’t see your face when you do that.”

“Oh.” Remus so eloquently responded, mind reeling at Sirius’ hand on his cheek, the touch both overwhelming yet not enough. He leaned into it, closing his eyes. 

“Hey!” Sirius said again, smiling when Remus opened his eyes. “Can’t see your eyes when you do that, either.”

Remus must have been dreaming. That was the only logical explanation he could think of for what was happening. He watched as Sirius’ smile grew wider. “Why do you always look so surprised, Rem?”

His eyes widened slightly at the nickname. If his cheeks weren’t bright red already they certainly were after that. “I- I don’t know. Nervous I guess.”

“About what?” Sirius asked, and Remus’ face dropped a little. Was Sirius not aware of the things he did to him? Surely? He took a leap, jumped off the edge of the cliff, hoping to be engulfed in the deep sea of blue. Hoping to finally _breathe._

“Do you not know how you make me feel?” Remus asked, trying hard to swallow down his heart that now felt like it had leapt up into his throat.

Sirius exhaled shakily, “no,” he whispered, hand still on his cheek. Remus could feel Sirius trembling. Or maybe that was just him. At this point he couldn’t tell. All he kept thinking of was _Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, blue eyes, Sirius..._

“Well.” Remus gulped, eyes never leaving Sirius’. He felt like he could write essays upon essays, sonnets upon sonnets, on Sirius’ deep blue eyes. He couldn’t stop thinking about them. Wondering. Does Sirius look at him with the same affection he did?

“Do you want to know what helps me get to sleep?” Remus asked. 

Sirius nodded, and Remus took a breath. Now wasn’t the time to back down. Emboldened by the hand that was still on his cheek, Remus continued, “well I- I like to think of scenarios. Little scenes that I make up in my head- of um- of things I wish would happen.”

“I thought I was the one who liked fanfiction?”

“So you admit it!” Remus smiled, nervous energy dissipating, “you do read fanfiction.”

Sirius laughed, “you’re avoiding the subject,” he said, cheeks tinged a light pink. Remus felt reassured he wasn’t the only one. 

“Fine,” Remus continued, “the, um, the difference between the- uh- the fanfiction thing and me is that… I picture most of mine happening in real life—”

Sirius’ thumb softly stroking Remus’ cheekbone threw him off his rhythm. Sirius prompted him, “and…?”

“And- uh- most of them are… with you.”

Sirius went silent, and Remus shut his eyes, in fear that he had misread the situation entirely.

After what felt like hours, but was probably only a minute at most passed, Remus opened his eyes to find Sirius staring right back at him, lips forming the shape of an ‘O’. He blinked, almost deciding something in his head, his right hand then being brought up to meet the left, now cupping both of Remus’ cheeks.

“Can I kiss you?” Sirius asked, and Remus nodded quickly, leaning forward to meet his lips.

The daydreams didn’t hold a candle to the incredible feeling of Sirius kissing him. Face cradled in his hands, lips brushing against his, Remus finally jumped off the cliff. Finally crashed into the deep blue water, feeling like he just took a breath for the first time, surrounded by _Sirius_. He couldn’t think of anything else, his hands lifted to bury in his thick black hair, so fluffy and soft underneath his fingertips. One moment it felt like everything was in slow motion, then the next, it felt like someone had pressed fast forward. It was all too much and not enough at the same time. 

Sirius pulled away first, breathing quickly. He looked into Remus’ eyes, lips turning up into a shy smile, one he had never seen before. He felt special. Only he got the privilege to see this side of Sirius. 

“How did that live up to your fanfictions?” Sirius asked, breathless.

Remus laughed loudly, unexpectedly, covering his face with his hands. “I said they weren’t fanfictions.”

“Ohh sorry. What do you call it, headcanons?”

“Please shut up.” Remus couldn’t stop laughing. 

“Gladly,” Sirius grinned, leaning back in to kiss him again. 

Remus wasn’t sure where this was going, but for once in his life, he wasn’t afraid of that. He didn't need to worry about what else was going to happen, because he now had Sirius by his side. And as long as he had Sirius with him, he felt like he could do anything.


End file.
